Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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