and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
