I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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