I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So here I am, sexting at work.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize