no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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