wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
