nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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