sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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