I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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