I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
