forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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