They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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