If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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