I'm going to jail i love you
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize