Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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