dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
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We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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