I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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