Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize