You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize