My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
