I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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