If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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