Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
