You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
