he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
