I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The power of my boobs compel you
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
