Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
