I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
