Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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