lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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