FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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