Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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