turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
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Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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