my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
