Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
