I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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