Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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