he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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