You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
