Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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