he shaved USA in his pubs
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What a dumb baby whore.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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