I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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