that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
