i would punch a child for taco bell
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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