sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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