I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
