my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All the doctor said was why
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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