She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
