Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
