Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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