Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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