If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Even my vagina gasped.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
