dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone says I win the strip club
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
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