You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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