Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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