I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize