It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
